I literally can't wait . . .

I can't help wondering whether editors of magazines sometimes deliberately dumb down contributions from better writers than themselves. Did Fiona Bruce, of the Antiques Roadshow, really say (or write) "I literally can't wait to see what Nancy Dell'Olio [of 'Strictly'] is up to every week" ? Surely not.

To start with, we have no choice in such a matter: there is no way that we can see now, at this moment, what will happen next week . You jolly well have to wait. But of course, the 'can't wait' idiom is only a fun way of expressing eager anticipation*. Not, though, to whoever penned that statement attributed to Ms Bruce. She 'literally' can't wait; and 'literally' means 'actually, really, no kidding, not pretending, truly, in fact, not in imagination, not mere idiom'. So how does she manage actually and really not to wait ? Three options seem to be available: (a) the use of an effective crystal ball; (b) give up trying to wait, and forget it; or (c) drop dead.

*Even the word anticipation has been dumbed down. It's component parts (of Latin origin) mean 'capturing beforehand' - and that is exactly what its sixteenth century inventors intended it to mean - to do something beforehand, to take action now that will deal with a problem or an opportunity when it occurs; not just the feeble 'to hope or expect'. If you go to meet someone at the station, and there they are, getting off the train, you have anticipated their arrival. If they weren't on the train after all, you haven't actually anticipated it. You never did; you just wrongly expected* it.

* But wait ! Even the word 'expect' has lost its original potency. It too is derived from Lain, and its true meaning used to be to 'watch out for something until it happens'. In fact it could be used as a synonym for 'anticipate.' But it's too late to rescue the term now.

I literally can't wait . . .

Again, it's how you say it

"Until now", the news presenter tells us, "The Red Arrows have never had a female pilot. But now all that has changed. . . "

And what, please, is 'all that' ? Has there, perhaps, been a long-standing quarrel between those who fought for the right of women to become pilots and those who stubbornly resisted, determined to keep RAF aerobatics as a male preserve ? A lot of fuss, back-biting, treachery and sabotage, pilots resigning, politicians getting involved in the dispute, that sort of thing ? All that ?

No. It's just that up till now there have been no female pilots in the Red Arrows, and now there is one. All that.

This is not exactly dumbing down, but it's souping up, which is another aspect of the popular communications scene. In case the News (with a capital initial) should become boring, let's have it exaggerated and dramatised, even in the choice of words and phrases: and let it also, of course, include plenty of shocks and scandals. We don't want mere information, thank you; we'd rather have titillation, drama and stimulus.

Also today (November 12th) we have watched a politician addressing the House of Commons: "We are reviewing the situation on a daily basis". It somehow seems a weightier statement than the no less meaningful "We review the situation daily".

A high syllable count is felt to be an indicator of earnestness, managerial competence and intellectual depth .

Again, it's how you say it